Thailand Footprint: The People, Things, Literature, and Music of Thailand and the Region

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Dean Barrett was one of the first two authors, living in Thailand, whose name I knew and could spell for you when I first arrived in the Land of Smiles in the early 21stCentury. He was not, however, one of the first ½ dozen “Bangkok authors” that I read. I can explain: let’s face it, Dean seemed like he was having too much fun in Bangkok to be a good writer. From the first time he was pointed out to me in a second story Nana Plaza establishment 10 years ago, to his five minute YouTube video: Dean Barrett’s Guide to Soi Cowboy, to a few years ago when he climbed into a boxing ring for a charity event, at a time when a lot of guys his age were playing shuffleboard in Florida and collecting their Social Security checks, Dean enjoys life. Not to mention that one of his two web sites, with the dominatrix on the Enter page, will trigger the porn blocking software on any computer in China.

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The first time I saw Dean’s Star Ratings on Amazon, I was surprised how highly his books were rated. I’m not sure why I was surprised, I still hadn’t read any of his books. I suppose I wanted my authors pudgy, with pale skin, bottle rimmed glasses and home alone, writing 12 hours a day for my benefit. Stephen King, I knew, was a good writer, even if not a personal favorite. Dean Barrett, I still had my doubts. One should not judge a book by its cover but I made some judgments, based on the titles of Dean’s books. If Groucho Marx didn’t want to join any club that would have him as a member, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to allot my valuable reading time to any author that liked so many clubs. Hey, we all have our biases. I was wrong. Dean Barrett writes well.

Let’s take a look at some of the names and the star ratings of Dean’s books on Amazon:

Memoirs of a Bangkok Warrior – 18 reviews.  Average rating: 4.53

Kingdom of Make-Believe – Thirty-five reviews. Average rating: 4.55

Permanent Damage – Six reviews. Average rating: 4.66

Skytrain to Murder – Nine reviews. Average rating: 4.44

The Go Go Dancer who Stole My Viagra & other Poetic Tragedies of Thailand – Six reviews. Average rating: 4.66

Murder at the Horney Toad Bar & other Outrageous Tales of Thailand. One review. Rating: 5.0

Murder In China Red (set in NYC). Twelve reviews. Average rating: 4.91

I have since read three of Dean’s books from the above list and have enjoyed them all. I also like his poetry. Keep in mind, Dean Barrett is old school. These reviews are real reviews, written by real people who actually took the time to read the book they reviewed.

There are other aspects about Dean’s writing not as widely known as, say, his YouTube video. Dean was a professional writer in New York City for many years as a librettist and lyricist. His credentials are too long to mention here. I have a theory about talent and self-deprecation: only the talented are good at it. Dean Barrett is good at self-deprecating humor. He is also a first class public speaker. If you have an opportunity to hear him speak about literature, go. He is well read, well-traveled, erudite, honest and humble. He’s John Grisham with a more interesting personal life and a few less books sold than John.

Another lessor known aspect to Dean’s writing career are his historical fiction books set in China. His talent coupled with his background as a Chinese linguist with the Army Security Agency during the Vietnam War made his China novels a fun discovery. The first Barrett novel I ever read in the Chinese historical fiction genre was, Hangman’s Point. And, in case you are wondering, sixteen Amazon reviews. Average rating: 4.93. As James A. Newman once pointed out, Dean’s work has been studied in libraries and read in bars. Hangman’s Point is a great, 533 pages in hardback edition, historical fiction novel, which will be read 100 years from now, probably in both.

Dean’s latest book is one I read recently: THE CHINA MEMOIRS OF THOMAS ROWLEY. (Village East Books. New York 2013). It is unlike any previous Dean Barrett fiction I have ever read. It is a historical fiction, love story, with plenty of erotica. I’ve never been a particular fan of reading erotica fiction, since I stopped reading, The Penthouse Letters thirty-five years ago. Some of the erotica scenes I enjoyed more than others. Set in 19thCentury China and finishing in early 20th Century New York City – 1922. It is a story that takes place during a tumultuous period in China’s history – the Taiping Rebellion. Women warriors were common, known as “the silken armies.” I always enjoy the historical and literary aspects of Dean’s novels, which pay close attention to detail. The love story was fascinating in how it evolved. Dean also has a knack for writing female fight scenes better than any author I can recall, perhaps because he finds a way to have women fighting. Why not? It was realistic and well written. The ending was believable and satisfying. There were no loose ends. If you want to try an outside the box Dean Barrett novel, read: The China Memoirs of Thomas Rowley.

Dean Barrett writes mysteries, among other novels. But he is not mysterious. He is as straight a shooter as you will find. You may not like what he tells you, but you can be sure he will tell you the truth, according to Dean. Be prepared.

Author Dean Barrett

Dean Barrett, author of The China Memoirs of Thomas Rowley and many others

 If you are in the area, Dean Barrett will be giving a breakfast talk this coming Sunday, December 8th, on THE CHINA MEMOIRS OF THOMAS ROWLEY at Tavern by the Sea, Amari Orchard Pattaya, 240 Moo 5, Pattaya Naklua Rd. Bang Lamung, Chonburi (Pattaya) 20150. Breakfast starts at 9:30 a.m. Dean Speaks at 10:30 a.m. For more details contact Dean via his Facebook site or atwww.deanbarrettmystery.com    

This author profile was originally published in the Chiang Mai City News and may be viewed there by clicking the banner below:

CityLife

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Web Sites are like resumes, they need to be reworked or redone from time to time. On Thailand Footprint a new feature will focus on the web site and social media by a footprint maker who is leaving their mark on Thailand or the region. This month’s feature is someone with an impressive and unconventional resume. Bangkok based, Canadian expatriate, one time punk band bass guitar player and singer/songwriter, travel writer and author, Jim Algie. Jim is a self proclaimed weirdsmith but don’t let that well earned moniker detract you from the fact that he is a top shelf wordsmith as well. This is truth, not embellishment. Having just been in Kinokuniya bookstore at Siam Paragon two days ago, I saw Jim Algie’s best selling collection of nonfiction stories, Bizarre Thailand, on a top shelf location. Kinokuniya is selective about the books they carry. The first printing of Bizarre Thailand, which also occupies a good location on my bookshelf, was published by Marshall Cavendish in late 2010 and sold out by mid 2011. All the stories in Bizarre Thailand have original angles or Algie angles if you prefer. Jim answers the questions that if you never asked, while living in Thailand, you should have asked or would have asked if you had seen what he’s seen.

Bizarre Thailand

In addition to the tales of Crime, Sex and Black Magic you’ll find information about strange celebrities, unusual wildlife and the supernatural. My favorite story involved a visit to a well known fertility shrine in Thailand, full of phallus figures of similar shape but various sizes. There the women can pray for conception and the men can pray to cure bouts of impotence, not necessarily in that order.

Fertility Shrine

Follow the, uh, … brick road to the fertility shrine …

As timing would have it, an author whose book I reviewed recently, Janet Brown and Tone Deaf in Thailand, just did a marvelous book review of Bizarre Thailand.  So, rather than review it myself, I steer you to her review at Once a Bookseller, by clicking on the picture of Jim Algie, below:

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Jim Algie with newly made friend … Jim is the one on the right …

Jim’s web site http://www.jimalgie.com has pages for Books, Films, Music and Travel Tales, among others. Jim makes my Top 5 list of favorite book reviewers living in Thailand and is my #1 favorite movie reviewer living in Thailand. His movie reviews are sometimes more entertaining than the movie itself. It is a great web site, which is also undergoing some changes. It should be part of anyone’s blog roll or surf destination for those living in the Kingdom or with an interest in the weird and wacky, travel and/or South East Asia. To go to Jim’s web site, simply click his image, below:

Jim Algie Profile

Jim Algie in a long tail boat near a mangrove forest in the south of Thailand

Timing may not be everything in life but good timing beats bad most every time. My timing was good on my recent trip to Kinokuniya as I was able to have a very helpful employee locate Jim’s newest book, THE PHANTOM LOVER and Other Thrilling Tales of Thailand. The collection of short stories has a February 2014 release date but will probably be available on the shelves of Thailand bookstores now or in the next 30 days. It is available for pre-order at Amazon.com. Your nearest Indie Bookshop may also be able to pre-order. The Phantom Lover is published by Tuttle out of Singapore. I have already sampled the book by reading, THE LEGENDARY NOBODY, a fictional account with many historical facts blended in about the Thailand legend and serial killer, See Ouey. If the rest of the stories are on par with this one, Jim should expect the first printing of these fictional tales to sell out quickly as well. I hope to review the entire book at a later date. For more information about the book and how to pre-order, click the book cover below:

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The Phantom Lover by Jim Algie. Tuttle Publishing – Singapore

Jim is a longtime resident of the Kingdom of Thailand. His web site offers a wealth of information for old hand expats and newcomers alike. While he is a Thailand veteran he is new to the twitterverse of Twitter. Blowing your own horn comes easier for some authors than others. I suspect that publicity is more of an obligation for Jim Algie not his preferred destination. But he does have a Twitter account and I looked at his tweets today. They showed quality over quantity, which I’ll take every time. His Twitter account name is, @jamiealgie and you can go to his Twitter page by clicking the picture below to begin following Jim. The road less traveled is not the path Jim takes. More often, it’s the path few white foreigners have ever taken in Asia. Follow Jim and let the bizarre times roll:

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Click Jim Algie’s guitar to visit his Twitter page

One other hat Jim Algie wears is as moderator for the Open Group on Facebook called Bizarre Thailand. Click the photo below to take you to Jim’s Group Facebook page. It is a great source of information and entertainment about all things not mundane.

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Go directly to Bizarre Thailand Facebook Open Group – Photo credit: Chiang Mai City News

That is my take on Thailand Footprint maker, author, editor, weirdsmith, ex-punk band guitar player, Twitter rookie and Facebook open group moderator at Bizarre Thailand. Jim is many things but he is never boring and I doubt that he is often bored. Life in the Kingdom is bizarre. Ask any expat who lives here. But for the one who knows it best, ask Jim Algie.

For more information about Jim Algie and his books go to: www.jimalgie.club

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Henry Miller has been quoted as saying, “No one can write the absolute truth …”. And I do feel it is a lot harder than most people might think. That would explain the abundance of fiction writers in the world today. The irony is, I get a lot of my truth from fiction, which is mostly what I read.

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Deviating from my norm, recently,  I read TONE DEAF IN BANGKOK (and other places) by Janet Brown. Publisher: Global Directions/Things Asian Press (April 1, 2009) . It is a collection of short stories, real, lived by Ms. Brown. There are stories of humor; stories of courage; stories of friendships made; travel stories and most of all stories of an expat female living in Bangkok, Thailand during the years 1995-2001. The operative word being, living. In these essays Janet Brown does her absolute best to tell her absolute truth. And she succeeds. It is quite an accomplishment. What makes it unique, for me, is the adventuresome, middle aged female perspective, which she brings to the table. It was a fun read. It reinforced many truths of my own about the land of smiles. There were even some shared experiences.

If you bring an open mind to Thailand, as Janet Brown did, Thailand is sure to leave a lasting impression. The story about ghosts I particularly liked. Twelve years ago, when I first came to Thailand, I took a western, scientific view of ghosts. I didn’t believe in them. Now, after being around so many people that do, I am open to alternative theories. It’s one of many transformations that can take place in a person that chooses to live in Thailand long enough. I’ve concluded that alternative theories about ghosts are, if nothing else, just more fun. Had I read Janet Brown’s story, GHOSTS IN THE CITY OF ANGELS , 12 years ago I would have been shaking my head thinking, “Who is she kidding?” Over a decade later with six-plus years of accumulated time spent in the Kingdom, I just smile and nod my head up and down.

One of my favorite stories was, TODAY, WHERE DO YOU GO? about Janet’s trip to the disputed temple of Khao Phah Viharn on the Thai / Cambodia border. It told me a lot about the author. It is short and sweet and sour all in one. Just like a good day, lived.

Her concluding story, FIREWEED AND JASMINE about the lasting effects and affects of growing up in Alaska as a young girl and getting an early lesson in impermanence is worth having this book in your travel collection, for those words alone. I read the story aloud. I recommend it. I also recommend reading TONE DEAF IN BANGKOK (and other places) for anyone with an interest in Thailand, adventure, travel or living. That about covers it.

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Thomas Hunt Locke is, among other things, a husband, a father, a businessman, an adventurer, an expat living in Thailand and an author. Not necessarily in that order. He’s a transplanted American. An east coast guy, with Boston ties. It is my impression that he has his life priorities in order. Plus, he and his protagonist, Sam Collins both like CheckInn99 whenever they get a chance to come to the City of Angels. What’s not to like? His second Sam Collins mystery, Jim Thompson is Alive! has dropped recently on Amazon.com and will be available in paperback soon. This follows his debut Sam Collins erotic historical mystery, The Ming Inheritance. Thailand Footprint is pleased to welcome Thom Locke as our Footprint Maker interview of the month.

Author, T Hunt Locke creator of the Sam Collins Historical Mysteries series

Author, T Hunt Locke creator of the Sam Collins Erotic Historical Thriller series

TF Welcome, Thom. Tell me when was the first time you came to Thailand, when did you settle here permanently and what was the attraction to the northern part of Thailand, specifically the Chiang Mai area?
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THL Hi Kevin. I first came to Thailand in the early 1990’s. I was finishing up my grad school work and delivered a paper at a conference in Singapore. I had a few days free afterward so hopped on a bus and headed north. I’m now coming on my 10th anniversary residing in Thailand. Other than a couple of months in Bangkok I have been permanently settled in the north. I don’t live directly in  Chiang Mai anymore but my family and I still make frequent forays into the Rose of the North. The best thing about Chaing Mai, a city I love dearly, is the balance between culture and modernity. I lack for nothing in the modern context, yet I still can meditate in the ancient temple Wat U-Hmong.

TF I enjoy hearing about expats that have chosen to set up a business in Thailand, as well as enjoy the culture and terrain. Tell me about your business, what do you do exactly? Is it full-time, part-time or somewhere in between?  What do you like best about it and how is running a business in Thailand different than it would be back in the USA?
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THL I have set up the N.U. Test Prep. Center. My main service is to prepare young university lecturers for the IELTS or TOEFL exams. I also prepare doctors for the USMLE (United States Medical Licensing Exam). I also do quite a bit of work in business communication with the local government agencies. I’m not sure if there is a category above full-time but if there was I would check that box. Most foreigner teachers in Thailand don’t want to teach test prep so it is difficult to find good help. So in a way I’ve become the ‘go to’ guy for that in my community. It is rewarding. The best aspect of my job is the quality of people I come in contact with everyday. It provides me with a very optimistic outlook on Thai society. In the States I was a community college lecturer so I’ve little experience with the business field stateside. My experience here has been fantastic.
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TF  Your protagonist, Sam Collins – what would readers find admirable and likable about him? Does he have any flaws? I don’t like too many standard questions, but I’ll give you one here: how much of Sam Collins is really T. Hunt Locke? Is he a product of your imagination, part you or a composite of many people whom you have known?
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The Ming Inheritance ecover
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THL Sam Collins is a retired Boston City Police detective. He was forced into early retirement due to a scandal within the force and the city as a whole. He exacted revenge on a drug lord who had murdered his wife & son. Sam is deeply flawed but I believe readers can admire the way he has put back the pieces of his shattered life. He’ll never be whole again. Still he’s making an effort to lead a productive life. One reviewer tabbed Sam as being half Indiana Jones & half James Bond. I’ll live with that. Through Sam I try to also shine a mirror on expat life. Many ‘farang’ come over here to either forget, escape, or otherwise forge a new life.  Sam is not Thom however.
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TF The title of your upcoming novel: Jim Thompson is Alive! A Sam Collins Mystery, is a great one. Most farangs who have spent any time in Thailand and certainly most expats living in Thailand year around know at least something about the Jim Thompson real life mystery. I have taken the tour of the Jim Thompson House in Bangkok, on a very rainy day and it was fascinating, not to mention a gorgeous house. For those readers not familiar with the real life mystery, give us a brief history of the real Jim Thompson and then carry that over into how your story-line came about. Did you have to do a lot of research?
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The Jim Thompson House located in Bangkok, Thailand is well worth a look

The Jim Thompson House located in Bangkok, Thailand is well worth a look

THL Let me begin with the last question. This novel has taken me approximately two years to complete. A great deal of research has been put into my latest work. To step back, Sam Collins novels are erotic historical thrillers. I take each part seriously. The history needs to be well researched otherwise the structure of the plot is weakened. I won’t go in to too much detail, but I conducted several interviews with people who were active in Thailand in the 1960’s. You may know Mama Noi from Check Inn 99. Mama was quite the hot item back in the day and she gave me some fantastic information to provide me with a flavor for that era. The most interesting, surprising perhaps, aspect of the research is the portrait of Jim Thompson which emerges when one digs deep. He is not the person one would expect. My admiration for him grew extensively and in this novel I try deliver that portrait in a way that has not been done before. The William Warren book can rightfully be called a vanity effort. Other efforts as well fall way off the mark. I believe if you read Jim Thompson Is Alive! you’ll find you discover a great deal about the man and his motivations. In addition, much of the novel investigates the United States involvement in the Indo-China war, a conflict that Thompson himself was heavily invested in and at odds with U.S. interests.
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Picture of real life Jim Thompson

Picture of Jim Thompson before his mysterious disappearance

TF What are the benefits of writing, for you? What do you like most about the process from start to finish to publishing? Tell me what you see as the pros and cons in the current publishing climate for independent novelists like yourself?
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THL Everything I do in my life is something that I absolutely cherish undertaking. From my family to my business to my hobbies to my writing, I’m invested in something I completely dig. More directly, the benefit of writing for me is that I’m able to carve a good story from history. I love stories & I like history so, I figured, why not give it a go. What I adore most about the process are the characters that emerge. Gemma from my first novel was a complete surprise and Tukky from Jim Thompson Is Alive! is a big surprise to Sam and me as well. In the end, writing is something that I absolutely love in the same way some people are passionate about scuba diving or other challenging hobbies.
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Thom Locke Skidoo (1)
That being said, my books are not free. So it is important for developing a strategy, a business plan if you will. For me there are no downsides in the DIY publishing age. I’m responsible for everything. I am independent by nature so the way the industry is trending is something that is gratifying. That’s not to say I haven’t made mistakes on the business end. I’m still sorting it out. But it has been fun learning from those mistakes. For example, there is absolutely no upside to signing a contract with a company to put your book online. I can upload the novel directly to Kindle with no middleman. Smashwords I have found to be quite good in that they can connect you to many outlets such as B&N and Sony etc. while charging only a nominal fee.In the end, I find the Amazon age to be a blessing for writers such as myself.
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TF Who are some of your favorite authors – and you can play it safe and name me only the dead ones or take a risk and name the live ones. The middle path is always good so a mix of the two is also fine. And start with your earliest memories of reading, please.
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THL I’ve been an avid reader since I broke my ankle as a ten year old. I had to sit out baseball that year. My world had come to an end. But out of the abyss came a boy clutching a book in one hand and his treasured baseball glove in the other. As for my favorite writers well Umberto Ecco would have to top the list. Unfortunately I don’t have a great deal of time to read nowadays with my busy schedule. I recently finished Dissolution by C. J. Sansom. I quite like the Matthew Shardlake series. When I was younger I was addicted to Robert Ludlum novels. Truth be told, I don’t have a favorite writer in the sense I have a favorite rock ‘n roll band.
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TF I’ve heard it advised that being a writer, is like doing the laundry – it never ends. You finish one book and pretty soon it’s, “What have you done, lately?” So I am guessing that after Jim Thompson is Alive! another project may be in the works? If so, what’s the working title and how will it be different and how will it be similar to the first two Sam Collin’s Mysteries?
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Thom Locke at Backstreet Books in Chiang Mai

Thom Locke, with daughter, at Backstreet Books in Chiang Mai, pleased to have found one of his favorite authors …

THL I’m folding and pressing my latest as we speak and yeah, I ‘ll begin work on my next project come September. I have a total of ten novels loosely outlined. My next effort will be set in the summertime home of my youth, Cape Cod. It will not be  as sexually charged as the Sam Collins Mystery Series though it will be a historical thriller. The working title is Vinland. I’ll follow that up with another Sam Collins thriller. This will be interesting as it will take Sam out of Thailand. I don’t want to be tied to one locale and I believe Sam gives me great flexibility in that regard.

TF There is a lot of turbulence in the world right now. A lot of dissatisfaction in many different areas. The economy, the political climate, an increasing police state that has been eroding freedoms that you and I have taken for granted for a lifetime as Americans. And yet you come across as a very satisfied individual, that like a lot of expats living in Thailand has taken the road less traveled. Does what is going on in the world today have an impact on your life, in any way, shape or form? And I ask the question because I am genuinely curious about the answer. Some people confuse apathy with focus. I see you as a focused individual.
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THL It’s an interesting question, Kevin. Tip O’Neill once said all politics is local. Let me just say that I keep my life local. So, in that sense, there is little turbulence or dissatisfaction for me to contend with. Often people involve themselves in so many things they cannot control and in many cases don’t understand. I can control being a good husband/father, a hardworking & successful business owner, and a better writer. Those are my priorities and I try to focus on those pursuits. I also try to have fun in life! Making new friends and developing solid relationships takes precedence over worrying about the state of the global economy. Basically I try to not be an asshole and live the heck out of the one life I’ve been given. In any case I’m an independent so both sides of the political spectrum piss me off!
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ThomFamily

TF You talked about how your experience with a business in Thailand has been fantastic. Tell me what you like about the Thailand geography, what you like about the Thai people and what you like about Thai culture? Of those three areas, what don’t you like?

THL First, as you know, Thailand is an exquisitely beautiful country. I like to get outside and there is so much to choose from. We try to get into the mountains of Mae Hong Song at least once a year and life would not be complete without at least one trip down south to Krabi or Phuket. Bangkok gets thrown in a couple of times a year as well. That covers a lot of real estate. My wife, being Thai, likes to visit the local shops, markets, and restaurants when visiting such locales. Its a great way to experience the many different cultures that exist within the Thai borders. I think Thai people are generous by nature. Living where I do, off the tourist map as it were, I was a bit of an oddity being one of the few farang around. It was a great way to learn about Thai culture and people. Consider me impressed. If there is one thing I hate about Thailand it is the lack of civility on the roads. Thai drivers are barbaric! And this coming from a Bostonian where bad driving has been elevated to an art form.

TF Thom, we’ve had some fun today. I have a tremendous amount of respect for writers and those writers, like yourself, who write fictional novels. As my guy John Grisham says, “It’s harder than paving asphalt”. So please tell me anything else you would like to, here, that I may have missed about your latest book, but while I am at it, who is your favorite rock n’ roll band? And don’t tell me, Boston.
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THL Well thank you, Kevin for having me as a guest. As for my favorite rock ‘n roll out-fit that is an easy one. The Kinks! I’ve been a Kinks Kultist since my mid-teens.

Jim Thompson Is Alive! is now available on Amazon.  The paperback will follow in September. I’m beginning work with a Thai film director exploring the possibility of turning this novel into a movie. He’s a good friend and I was happy to hear of his interest. We will meet tonight over 100 Pipers!

Click the cover above to go to Amazon.com USA for more info about JIM THOMPSON IS ALIVE!

Click the cover above to go to Amazon.com USA for more info about JIM THOMPSON IS ALIVE! by T. Hunt Locke

TF Thanks, Thom. I hope to klink glasses with you at CheckInn99 soon.

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Thailand Footprint looks to interview cutting edge and break-out literary talent. Efforts were made to secure an interview with up and coming pulp fiction writer, James A. Newman – author of the Joe Dylan private detective noir crime series. The Joe Dylan series has two published novels in pulp and ebook formats: Bangkok Express and The Red Zone.  The third in the series, The White Flamingo is now available on Amazon.com and has been charting in the Top 50 Noir Bestsellers List.

James A. Newman, available for a game but not for bloggers ...

Author, James A. Newman. Available for a game but not for a blog …

Repeated calls to Mr. Newman’s office were finally returned by his publicist (no name given).  Thailand Footprint was told, due to ongoing negotiations for an interview and cover photo with AFTER DARK MAGAZINE,  James A. Newman would be unavailable for “bloggers”.  As a result we pursued the next best thing. Gop, the literature loving, tobacco(?) smoking, sex-on-the-beach drinking , frog in the coconut shell was retained for one purpose: find protagonist, Joe Dylan and interview him for Thailand Footprint. Joe Dylan had last been heard from on a binge in The Zone after solving a murder mystery in Fun City for the famed ex-catwalk model, the widower, Mrs. Bell. Also known as, the White Flamingo.

Gop

Gop

Gop Joe, you are a hard man to find. It took me days to track you down here at Last Chance Samui Health Resort & Spa and I live in the south.  Big fan, here. I read all my books on the beach and a Joe Dylan novel  is the perfect beach book. There hasn’t been a noir style, hard-boiled detective like you since Nick Danger. Security at the main gate and the check point at the front desk informed me we haven’t much time before your next session. So let’s jump right in: the question all your friends, fans and readers want to know is, you seemed to have it all under control – what went wrong?

Joe D Well, I took a slide in the Red Zone following the White Flamingo caper. I guess you can fill in the details whichever way floats your lilly-pad. Let’s just say I broke a case. When I break a case I like to celebrate. Hard. The therapy here sucks, baby. The place is full with tree-huggers and eco-warriors bringing down the tone of the establishment. The joint used be run by some gimp called The Elf before he took the night train following a puffer fish salad served by an Aquarian temptress.

Gop Say no more, Joe. Your true  fans will stand by you and those that know the Red Zone can imagine those details. The White Flamingo case was quite a walk on the wild side up in Fun City. Congrats for cracking it. Let’s talk about the therapy game. The tone may be down but this spa is superb  – dragonflies are everywhere. Sliding appears to have an up-side. What are your days like here at Last Chance Samui Spa?

Last Chance Samui Spa

Joe D You’re kidding right? That asshole Newman wrote me into this place so I could research his next book “Synchronicity” set inside a rehab unit. So while the author’s up there in the big smoke hanging out with guys blowing their trumpets at the Checkinn99 and chewing the fat with comedians and actors I’m here sitting in a hut shoving a rubber tube up my Harris every four hours to cleanse the colon (whatever that is), and there’s no food. At least nothing solid. Two protein shakes a day and as much co-co-nut milk as you can vomit. You wanna swap places man, say the word, give me back the city. You got any smokes?

Gop Smokes? Sure, but they confiscated both along with my Altoids tin at the front desk. Juicy Fruit? … Negative on the swap, Joe. Sounds to me like someone needs to recite their Serenity Prayer.  The pipe cleanings explain the color choice for the staff uniforms and the incense. For a second, I had a Lumphini Police Station flashback. C’mon, Joe this is not your first slip and fall. I’ve read all Newman’s stuff – even the strange one about the lizards. Shouldn’t you know the rehab drill by now after what happened to your protagonist pal, Johnny Coca-Cola during his Buddhist temple gig?

Joe D Talking of color – you look a bit green yourself, Gop. Johnny Coca-Cola is another one of Newman’s dysfunctional creations. Let’s not talk about recovery for much longer. It kinda bores me.  You see the trick is to stop trying to keep clean and then there is no conflict, works for a while. The other side of the coin is that if you take your foot of the break too often, you may slide on the ice. We have the sea here and the beach, a couple of Hollywood types in the steam room. What could be better?

Gop  No worries, Joe. The color blonde is on my mind. Stop trying, eh? Sounds like a day at Beach Road. Let’s talk about your last client – the White Flamingo. Everyone knows these spas charge an arm and a leg to stick a rubber hose up, what you call, your Harris. Every country has a different name for it; all I know is, everybody has one. The Fun City telegraph was burning that private dick business wasn’t the only thing going on with you and Mrs. Bell at her mansion on the hill. And the word on the street is, the Flamingo has spent time at this very spa.  Is that a coincidence, Joe or is the Flamingo your Mrs. Jones, because it seems you gotta thing going on?

Joe D    Some reviewer said recently that I have a problem with women. Well, anyone who’s in a relationship has a problem and anyone who hasn’t got a piece of skirt or leather vest has a problem. Money and women are the same – they mean everything and nothing… You’ll have to ask the Flamingo herself if it’s serious – all I can tell you about the Flamingo is like the bird that gave her her moniker. Each way her head turns there’s a big bill in front of it.

The White Flamingo steps out with Joe Dylan for a ride in Fun City - Paparazzi photo credit to Johnny Coca-Cola

The White Flamingo steps out with Joe Dylan for a ride in Fun City – Paparazzi photo credit to Johnny Coca-Cola

Gop  I figured you for a gent, Joe.  And a wise one at that. I’ve always liked the way Joe Dylan sees the world. I don’t like to pry into people’s personal lives.  But I am a bit concerned for your mental health. So I must tell you.  There’s a Full Moon Party in two days just a short swim from here that will knock your flip flops off. The here and now could be a lot worse than this seaside spa. What does the future have in store for you, Joe? What can your fans expect from you while you still have a pulse?

Joe Dylan ponders a swim at Samui spa beach ...

Joe Dylan ponders the meaning of life in a James A. Newman novel and/or a swim on the beach …

Joe D Pulse? Odds are you’ll croak before me, frogman. My plans? Well I’m checking out of this here new age cesspit  when the doc gives the all clear. Then it’ll be swimming to the full moon, have a party, and the next assignment is something tasty. It involves a rich kid who leaves behind his promising career to live in a utopian society of naked chicks in the jungle in central Thailand. I get my assignments from the higher power.  This time Newman threw me a paddle. Talking of paddles why don’t you grab yourself a paddle and hit some ping pong balls in the rec room, I have an appointment with the enema tech in twelve, we get together this time everyday and just like to shoot the shit.

Joe's toilet ...

Joe D’s toilet … clean as a whistle …

Gop Ping Pong’s my game, Joe. When I was in California last summer I won a little tournament down in Big Sur. You’d love it there. Redwoods. Ponds. Beautiful. But I see you as more of a Paris kinda guy.

Joe D Sure, in another lifetime I lived in room .25 the Beat Hotel, Left Bank. I can picture it now – gazing out that window across the rooftops and chimney pots. Up close a chimney pot’s a work of art. Yeah, Paris, the 1950s – shore leave. Picked up a taste for the Chinaman’s curse, and discovered my first case of the clap. Both imported from the East. But that’s another story for another waiting room.

Gop I learned a lot today. And I hope to forget it pronto. Time for you to play your game of hole-in-one with the long haired beauty wearing the latex gloves. I need my Altoids and Camel’s to fuel me back to The Big Weird. It’s been a real pleasure, Joe. Before I get out like trout is there any message Joe Dylan would like me to bring back to the City of Angels? 

Joe D Yes. Buy the White Flamingo by James A. Newman. If my benefactor doesn’t come up with the readies to spring me from this joint then we’re looking at selling enough copies to spring me free. Listen, Just tell your readers, to buy the god darn book.

The White Flamingo by James A. Newman - Third in the Joe Dylan Noir Crime Series

The White Flamingo by James A. Newman – Third in the Joe Dylan Noir Crime Series

 
Gop You got it, Joe.
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Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed herein are those of the frog on the blog and a pulp private eye and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Thailand Footprint.
 
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CMCN
 
 
For a book review of The White Flamingo by Thailand Footprint, as published in Chiang Mai City News, please click the banner above.
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sheraton-grande-sukhumvit

“You’ve got to earn the couch”, one University mountain biker said to his mountain biking buddy as I stood behind them, preparing for the big event in my day – ordering a sandwich at my local deli. Bush Senior was President at the time. It’s an expression I liked immediately, haven’t heard much since but thought about a lot two days ago.

My wife has only two speeds: stop and go. It’s difficult to get her to downshift. I’m more like a Waring 12-Speed blender: no need to work at ice crushing speed when the task at hand only involves blending peanut butter into your yogurt. But last weekend we both got a lot of stuff done. My wife and I had earned the couch. I’m an American. We’re trained, some might say brainwashed, to get stuff done so we can get more stuff. And like the instructions on a shampoo bottle there are those out there that want you to “repeat process” until you hit the grave. Most of the time I ignore them. Sometimes they have a point. My wife had earned the couch and a nice night out. The choice was, The Living Room located on Sukhumvit Soi 12 inside the Sheraton Hotel. I had never been before and neither had she. Time for a new experience.

the-living-room-sheraton-grande-sukhumvit_rob_restaurant

The Living Room is known for its world class Jazz. That night the Steve Cannon Group was playing. I first heard Steve play at CheckInn99 on a Sunday afternoon in May, where I discovered that Steve has some world class chops. I wrote about that experience and Steve here: http://wp.me/p33ZZ6-i2 Discovering Steve’s talent is like a prospector that trips over a 4 lb gold nugget – it does’t take a lot of skill. The skill and talent are all on Steve’s end. Steve was gracious when I introduced myself that day and I learned he worked The Living Room regularly. We had earned the couch, The Living Room has couches and Steve Cannon was playing. Some decisions are easier than others. We went.

World Class Trumpet Player, Steve Cannon

World Class Trumpet Player, Steve Cannon

Steve’s four man jazz combo includes Steve Cannon on trumpet, piano, drums and double bass. Apologies for not getting the other names. Most jazz aficionados agree that without the trumpet jazz is just not the same. It’s been an integral part of jazz from the beginning, long before the piano got on board. The combo was great, the acoustics lively and Steve was the leader on the stage and in The Living Room, where he came over a few times to our cozy couch throughout the evening. It was a weeknight but they still pulled in a nice, comfortable crowd as Steve worked the crowd comfortably on and off the stage. Grover Washington Jr., Dizzy Gillespie, Chet Baker and Lee Morgan were just a few of the compositions we listened to. As jobs go, it seems like a great one to me. We had a great time and we will go back. Next time when Steve plays with his piano playing bother, Randy Cannon.

Steve_Cannon_Album

The jazz schedule at The Living Room located inside The Sheraton Hotel on Sukhumvit Soi 12:

Jazz Schedule

Tim Hedges Piano Solo
Monday – Saturday: from 18:00 hours onwards

The Steve Cannon Band
Monday – Tuesday: from 21:15 hours onwards

The Randy Cannon Group
Wednesday – Thursday: from 21:15 hours onwards

The Randy Cannon Group with Cherryl Hayes
Friday – Saturday: from 21:15 hours onwards

The Cannon Brothers
Sunday: from 21:15 hours onwards

The Tim Hedges Jazz Trio
Sunday Jazzy Brunch: from 12:00 – 14:45 hours

Ratree's Drink

Although It was my first visit to The Living Room it felt like a DejaVu experience when I arrived. Like I had been there before. Then I remembered, I had. One of the many pleasures of reading fiction is not just the characters we meet, it’s the places we get to go. It turns out I had read a novel about another duo that had gotten a lot of stuff done and decided to reward themselves with a night at The Living Room. The duo was fictional detective, Vincent Calvino and his fictional saxophone playing friend, Thai Police Colonel Pratt. The novel is one of my favorites in the Vincent Calvino Crime Series, MISSING IN RANGOON written by well known Bangkok author, Christopher G. Moore and published by Heaven Lake Press in actual paper book form in 2013. The last chapter in the book is Chapter 22. The title of the chapter is, Bangkok: The Living Room.

MissingInRangoon2

I won’t bore you with all the details of the chores that earned my wife and me a visit to The Living Room but in the case of Vincent Calvino and Colonel Pratt all they had done was gone to Rangoon in Myanmar to locate a missing person and break up an amphetamine drug smuggling operation into Thailand. Vincent even worked in a couple of 10K runs while he was there. In the process, guns were fired, people were killed and rich people had to find new ways of getting richer. In short, Vinny and Colonel Pratt had earned the couch.

The chapter begins:

It was closing night at the upscale nightclub, located at a five-star Sukhumvit Road hotel. Yadamar wore a newly tailored tan suit, a purple silk shirt and alligator shoes with shiny soles. He sat behind a grand piano, smiling at the audience, hands dancing across the keyboard as Colonel Pratt finished John Coltrane’s, “My Favorite Things” –which he dedicated to Manee, his wife, who was sitting at a front row table. – The narrative of Christopher G. Moore from his novel, MISSING IN RANGOON

It’s not in the book but my guess is that Pratt’s wife, Manee also earned the couch. The music always sounds better when you do. Given the choice between being a couch potato or earning the couch go for the latter as much as you can. Get out and watch some live music and appreciate the talented musicians that ply their trade all over town in every town, most every night. Read a good book by one of your favorite authors. Get some stuff done. Be nice to your partner if you have one. Earn the couch.

Living_Room_Jazz_Venue

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Elsie Evans - Proprietor, instructor and artist at Attic Studios

Elsie Evans – Proprietor, instructor and artist at Attic Studios

I love all things Google. Last Thursday I plugged in “ART LESSONS + BANGKOK” into the almighty search engine and up popped http://www.attic-studios.com. Who am I to argue with their algorithm magic? My wife is a talented artist whom had her talent repressed by logical Thai society and ended up being an accountant for many years. Did she like being an accountant? A story for another day. I, on the other hand, have zero artistic talent but face the reality, daily it seems, that I will die one day – hopefully not soon. We thought it would be fun to take art lessons – together. We’re dare devils at heart. She, to increase her talent and me to face my fear head-on and jump outside the box. In this case clear up into the Attic. Attic Studios in Bangkok, Thailand to be more precise.

So it was that same morning we headed down, brilliantly without an appointment and in my case a clue, to Attic Studios. It turns out that just one block over from the Dead Artist Bars of Sukhumvit 33 in Bangkok you can find a lot of actual live artists and breathing art studios on and off of, Sukhumvit 31.

Upon entering Attic Studios we found several children in the middle of a group art lesson painting at easels while looking at a live model dressed in traditional Thai costume. We were only on the ground floor of the three story art studio. Elzan, the young assistant to Elsie Evans, was very pleasant, very helpful and very informative. She pleasantly informed us that we couldn’t have chosen a worse time to drop in (my bad) but we should go up the stairs to the second floor and wait for Elsie, whom was teaching on the third floor until 1:00 p.m. or 30 minutes away. It seems I was standing in front of the live model and this made it rather difficult for the kids to do their assignment. So we did. We went upstairs.

children

The second floor of Attic Studios looked amazingly like what you would expect from an art studio. Bookshelves full of art books – color coded, no less. And I mean tons of books. A comfortable couch for waiting. Tea and coffee available. And clutter. But not the kind of clutter I produce. No. This was artistic clutter. The kind of clutter that looked cool. The kind of clutter you want to leave as is because … well, because it looks cool. The kind of clutter you wanted to learn how to make, which in my case was why I was there.

art_supplies

As we waited I felt I was in a time warp: adult students came down from the third floor. Parents came up from the first to wait for their children to finish their lesson. And they all looked like they lived in Santa Cruz, California, which once made a Top 100 Artist’s Towns in the USA with populations under 100,000. Only I was in a South East Asian City of 9 to 12 million people, depending on whether she is in yin mode or yang mode, so it was all a bit surreal.

life-drawing

Elsie came down and let us know that she was in the middle of teaching but would be happy to talk to us in about 15 minutes. No worries. It may have been the worst possible time for them but I was enjoying myself. My wife tactfully reminded me that people do make appointments in civilized society and I nodded my head as I looked at the canvas paintings stacked about the walls.

Elsie_4FRG0166

Elsie came down a second time, apologized for the clutter that I was envious of, and proceeded to be charming, inquisitive, patient and most of all genuinely interested in what both my wife and I were interested in, which happened to be quite different from each other. Elsie also gave us a tour of the third and final floor – the main studio, which was also very cool. Cool is cool. It’s as good a word as any to describe all three levels of Attic Studios. As a bonus, Elsie and I both share Scottish ancestry. In Elsie’s case she was born in Scotland before coming to Thailand over twenty years ago. You get the feeling that Elsie has seen every level of art student and in my case every level of fear and her solution seems to be: start. Casual, modest, comfortable and obviously talented with people and art is how I describe Elsie Evans.

Henry Miller, when he went into his Big Sur phase, where he painted a lot, had a security guard to keep unwanted visitors out. And those that were allowed in, were required to read a long hand-written note posted the old fashioned way by Henry on his gate, reminding people, among other things : “When you come please be so kind as to check your neuroses and psychoses at the gate.” I can surmise that Elsie Evans has the type of personality that would have earned her a first name basis with Henry’s security guard and a visit to see Henry any time, had she wanted to. A visit Henry would have looked forward to, not dreaded as he must have with some of his visitors/fans.

Henry Miller's notice to visitors at the gate to his modest Big Sur home

Henry Miller’s hand-written notice to visitors posted at the gate to his modest home now resides at The Henry Miller Memorial Library in Big Sur

There is a quote on the Attic Studios web site, attributed to Elsie that I particularly liked. Since I am doubtful about my artistic ability, it is comforting to know that someone as good and as interesting as Elsie Evans also had that thought. I suspect it is just one of many reasons that make her a good instructor:

Over the years I have painted many portraits in pastel, oil and acrylic. I started them initially because I thought I couldn’t do them ……Wow I was right!!!  They were awful. But the human face, all around us, young, old handsome, ugly is fascinating, I had to persevere, still have to. The fluidity of the face is what interests me the most. – Elsie Evans

My hope is, this will not be the last post on this blog about Attic Studios. That I, too, will persevere. Being good at something provides a certain comfort level. Not being good at something and doing it anyway is a whole different ballgame. I am looking forward to learning the rules of the game from Elsie Evans.

corporate

Attic Studios provides Adult Workshops; Junior Workshops; Life Drawing Classes; Corporate Events; School Visits; First Friday Events as well as Mural Paintings and Art Restoration. For more information visit their web site,  where all the photos used in this blog post came from: http://www.attic-studios.com/ or LIKE them on Facebook at Attic Studios.

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Henry Miller at Big Sur

Henry Miller at Big Sur

On the About / Mission page of this blog a Henry Miller quote concludes with, “Forget yourself.” What did Henry mean by that? Only he would know for sure. In my initial interview with Legendary Surfers author, Malcolm Gault-Williams, I asked him if he agreed with the entire quote? Malcolm did agree, except for those two commanding words. It was a good answer but it was not the answer I expected. Not the one I wanted. How often do we ask a question with our answer already in mind? Too often, for me. People can be like the guy at the race track that has already decided which horse he will bet on because of the name of the horse or the color of the jockey’s silks but then goes to the racing form for information to back up his unwavering choice. Malcolm is right – when you write you cannot forget yourself, entirely. You need to add that special ingredient, as he puts it, to make the writing unique. But the best story, in my opinion, is almost always elsewhere.

“Develop an interest in life as you see it; the people, things, literature, music – the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.”― Henry Miller

Years ago I met someone for the first time at my Bangkok gym. We would later become friends. On that initial meeting I was on a weight machine. Dick, the name of my future friend, was on the next machine over. As he rested he struck up a conversation with me. My first impression of Dick was, “fat cat”. He was older than me by a good 20 years, heavy but in good shape and very tan, which made his blue eyes look even bluer. He wore a singlet and had a thick gold chain around his neck. A lot thicker than the $100 string I was wearing. Circumference does matter to some, I’m told, when it comes to gold. He was friendly enough but I was probably terse with him as I have this peculiar idea that gyms are for exercising not so much for socializing. In short, I was thinking about myself at the time, as we humans tend to do, rather than thinking about the opportunity to meet a new friend that didn’t fit the mold of my friends back in California.

Over the next few years I would share many meals with Dick and my circle of friends in Thailand. And a few beers too. Dick was always fun to be around. I would also tend to run into him from time to time, even when I was out of town. He always made room for a bit of conversation and sometimes those bits would lead to a few more beers. He came to our family Christmas party one year with a video recorder running as he entered the front door and was very entertaining all evening, yet always polite. We shared some things in common, Dick and I. He also split his time between Thailand and the USA – in his case, Maine. Our schedules were similar: winter and spring in Thailand. I always enjoyed catching up after not seeing each other for six months. Dick was generous, with his time and with his compliments. He was the opposite of a balloon chaser – the type of guy who would be a regular at a pub and then stay away when they had a free meal promotion, figuring someone else could use the seat and the meal that day more than he. One year he came back and his thick, heavy gold chain was missing. “Where’s your gold chain, Dick?” I asked when I noticed right away. “Oh, I gave it to my nephew. He always liked it and he’s a senior on his Florida high school football team this year”, he replied with his trademark smile. Dick was always proud of his family members back in the USA. It turned out that Dick wasn’t really a fat cat at all. He was a retired accountant that was more of a cool cat, even at over 70 years old. Dick was one of those guys whom you were always happy to see and when you left you always felt a little better. And I was never exactly sure why that was?

Henry Miller while paiting

Henry Miller while painting

After about 5 years of friendship and good memories I learned, from a mutual friend while I was in California, that Dick died of a heart attack, suddenly, during a visit with family members in Florida at the age of 76. His funeral was to be held in Maine. I didn’t go and like most regrets I have it is the things I didn’t do which I regret most. But I did get a chance to communicate with his son, a few times via email and once we spoke on the telephone. During the course of that conversation I expressed to his son that Dick was a friend and I liked him very much. I told him I used to tell his dad that he reminded me of my Uncle Al, a very important man in my life. I also told him how Dick had a way of making everybody around him feel good. His son responded, “My dad was the kind of guy that was always interested in what you were interested in.” And he was. And that was it – that’s what I couldn’t put my finger on. Henry Miller, I suspect, would have liked Dick a lot. Because Dick understood what Henry meant. Dick was confident in who he was, just as I believe Henry Miller was confident, on most occasions, with who he was. They both knew, more often than not, that the best story, the best moments in life, were not about them.

When you are interested in what other people are interested in, you find what Henry Miller found: interesting people. Will it happen every time? No, but often enough, that I would bet on it.

saratoga

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John Gartland (Photo by Eric Nelson)

John Gartland (Photo by Eric Nelson)

Bangkok is full of interesting expatriates. Foreigners choosing to make Thailand their home for a variety of reasons. John Gartland is one such interesting expat. John was born in Warrington in Northern England. He graduated with honors in English from Newcastle University and has a master’s degree in Elizabethan drama. He has spent time in the United States, has worked in the government sector, in the telecommunications business, as a rock n’ roll music producer and as a college lecturer and professor. He has recently returned to live in Bangkok a second time after being Visiting Professor of English Writing at Korea National University of Education , and  Lecturer in English at  Bayan University College in Muscat.

Gravity's Fool - Poems by John Gartland

Gravity’s Fool – Poems by John Gartland

John Gartland is a published novelist and poet. Thailand Footprint is pleased to showcase some of his poems today along with the art of Chris Coles as well as photographs by Bangkok photographers, Eric Nelson and Aroon Thaewchatturat.

Portrait of poet, John Gartland by Bangkok Noir artist, ChrisColes

Portrait of poet, John Gartland by Bangkok Noir artist, Chris Coles

The Company of Poets

You’ve heard a kind of clown
dismissing poetry,
as rarefied and precious, not real life;
till, cut and sliced by love’s
exquisite and inexorable knife,
he’ll find the bottle comfortless enough,
and fumble in his misery for rhyme.

Still craving for some vanished stuff of rapture,
attempting to contain the heart’s decline,
and learning there’s no science that will capture
or can resurrect a passion. It’s a sign that life
will seek out rhythms, incantations, dreams,
to celebrate its stature, and to wonder at itself.
Each dances, in his fashion, to that driving score it seems;
but poets live the fuller, by their nature, beating time.

And I’ll seek out the company of poets,
the company of poets I’ll make mine.
When poetry has bitten you you’ll know it;
it’s just an arc of words but in the overall design
of things, there’s everything in life laid out below it;
from birth to love, and death, and celebration;
and before the robot reaper can consign
you to your headstone you will ride imagination’s
launcher high above the milling cities,
be the Process speaking, for a time.

So I’ll seek out the company of poets,
the company of poets I’ll make mine.
They’re taking passion’s pulse
and they are signaling the future,
they’ve freedom for a mistress
and they’ve history for a tutor,
and they can image water into wine.
Each new day is their holy book,
and apparatchiks hate them
for scoffing at all priesthoods
while embracing the divine.
So give to me the company of poets,
the company of poets I’ll make mine.

Those black flags of mourning, who better to fly them?
The tender intrigues of the aspirant heart,
that life-shaking love that you have for your children,
how better to tell them? Where better to start?
Where else but the company of poets?
whose alchemical pilgrimage sets them apart…
Where else but the company of poets?

Those ephemeral fires of the beacon lights,
on the century’s headlands, glowing;
like poems, are markers we leave to rite
our passage and our going.
Bright seeds on the wind that flower despite
the perennial cloud of unknowing,
and they’re sown by the company of poets,
the indelible company of poets.

John Gartland

Soi Cowboy by Chris Coles now found hanging, prominently, at CheckInn99 in Bangkok

Soi Cowboy by Chris Coles now found hanging, prominently, at CheckInn99 in Bangkok

Chillin’

Judas hangs about in lost property,
channel hopping.
Reality Arena, Caligula’s TV hit,
has viewers congealed to their seats.
“It’s the same old bread and circuses shit”,
says Herod, still regal, on the Oprah show.
He’ll be networked once he’s out, you know,
a degree in demographics from an Open prison;
now, when he speaks the media listen.
But that’s old hat; there’s wall to wall promotion
on all stations for “Hits the murderers listened to.”
Can you get into that?
A six album set, if you didn’t steal it already.
“Suffer Little Children”, whispers Myra Hindley
and the social workers nod,
chillin!’.
“I’m immortal now”, croons De Troux,
“Let bygones be bygones”, says God,
“I’m chillin’, I’m chillin’”.

My cap’s on backwards, I mastered rhyme.
It ain’t complicated, so rap’s just fine,
I’m a tattooed mother’ and an arrogant swine,
I beat my bitch and she toes my line,
I’ve got a big shooter and I fuck with crime,
got jewels in my teeth and I done some time,
I’m rich, you can kiss my asinine,
I’m chillin’, I’m chillin’.

After this word from our sponsor,
Al Jazeera, embedded with the Taliban!
More amputations and beheadings, live,
and our token woman journalist who
reads the news at five. Commercial break,
a woman’s lips through an embroidered slot,
“Something for the weekend?”
Adultery and a drink will get you stoned,
Or maybe you forgot.
Relax! to a cool, fanatic vibe.
Sheikh, rattle and rolling heads,
no moderates are left alive.
The anchorman’s just chillin’. “Clive,
Reminds me of the view from the Republican
window at the old Rue Robespierre.
(These people can teach Europe nothing
about losing your head in a crisis!)”
And now at last we take you there,
To Isfahan, a missile silo filled with
Mullahs’ radioactive teeth,
to seed an unbelieving west.
With business confidence so low,
where else can you invest but Club Inferno,
fastest growing franchaise, and the best.
Four horsemen drinking margaritas in the bar,
chillin’. Scythes gleam in the umbrella stand.
Then, strikes up the band
behind the President’s address
on the State of Rape and Roll,
and everyone’s in lost property now,
to watch. With closing time at hand,
the speech is kind of droll,
and chillin’, really chillin’.

John Gartland

Chris Coles Landscape

Chris Coles Landscape

Bangkok De Profundis.

In a time of rising waters,
He has cried to thee oh Lord.
It was becoming hard to bear,
waking up each morning as a cockroach.
His junkie girlfriend stole the laptop,
the phone kept ringing at odd hours,
and insomniacs haunted him,
invading his rooms to smoke Old Delirium
in strange contraptions, fashioned
from detergent bottles and glass tubing.

False prophets network,
scares and admonitions,
“Seek shelter from the coming flood”
for markets fall, and pundits pall
like necromancers shocked by futures,
awed at stocks’ exposed positions.

More flashbacks of those corpses wrapped
in blood-stained sheets where Hades
meets Suwintawong highway,
and demons dressed as strutting cops
play out satanic games with car wrecks
and six lanes of hurtling pick-ups,
loaded with the damned.
Nothing stops, apart from hoping,
in that darkness;
hoping, and the grand design of God.

Years of debris; a throwaway world
is gagging his high watermark.
The residue of empires, dismembered ideologies,
gangrenous mullahs,
severed heads in doggie bags,
girls stoned to death by dumper truck
where high tech. serves Islamic rigour;
and women’s bodies, feared
and lashed with equal vigour,
float the septic tide to state,
that, rotting, raped and subjugate,
masked, or beauty acid-scarred,
this jealous hate redeems some family’s honour
and the keeping of a slave.

“Seek shelter from the coming flood!”.
More warnings from the networks
of disaster in plain sight.
Infected by the future
and recoiling from the light,
from the morning watch,
to subliminal night, Lord,
he channel-hops the ads. and lies,
awaits the blind inexorable wave.

Let thine ears be attentive
to the voice of his supplication.
Please take his urgent call oh Lord,
extend to him religion’s consolation.

Icons of old wizard monks,
expensive relics in a locket,
the sacred, decorated trunks of
twisted, bent, revered old trees,
an idol, or a totem,
or the fetish of of a prophet,
an amulet of Vishnu,
or a string of merit-making beads
to finger in a pocket.
A road map of the Tree of Life,
a prayer mat, sacrificial knife,
a sacred stone they venerate,
a holy spring where they prostrate,
and, chanting loudly, flagellate;
some mutilation rituals they find,
somehow express their
tortured, ingrown toenail of a mind.

To these they bow, by these they wait,
for heaven’s ultimate blind date;
hypnosis by a holy book,
subservience to a priestly look.

Yea Lord, he drinks a bitter cup,
deliverance eludes him yet.
The creator, playing hard to get,
has, once more, frankly, stood him up.

Manipulation, thought correction,
machiavellian misdirection.
Digesting God’s indifference,
inhaling insignificance,
in times of rising waters,
a Minoan maze of lies.

The sacred books, the king, the host,
those feet at which men grovel most;
the bloodstained flag, the Holy Ghost,
the biggest fairy tales require
most pious genuflection,
and these the thinking cockroach
will contemptuously despise.

Insomniac transexuals
are texting, seeking parts again.
Awake within the whispering walls,
illumination swirls and falls
to fractals in a pipe bulb,
when, aware God’s not returning calls,
or dealing absolution,
he crawls out of the depths, not least
to shun the poisonous fix of priests,
and charter his own flight to dissolution.

For, Lord, he’s turned his back upon
some name we may not utter
without slavish self-abasement,
the mediaeval violence policing laws of love;
a million milling zealots
trampling by their sacred monolith;
psychosis aping saintliness,
when push comes to fanatic shove.

And the globalised multiplex; virtual reality,
brand slaves on Prozac grazing the mall.
Where history simply is discarded fashion,
junk’s TV, rap culture, and soundbite celebrities,
mainlining cage fights, an armchair in hell.
In a time of rising waters,
He has cried to thee, oh Lord.

Last call for oblivion, welcome aboard.

Let thine ears be attentive… attentive oh Lord!

Last call for oblivion, darkness on board.

John Gartland

Female Guardian of the Bangkok Night by Chris Coles

Female Guardian of the Bangkok Night by Chris Coles

ANNA JET

Anna glides among the drinkers
and her girls at Anna Jet.
The customers pay tribute with their eyes.

Her girls are young,
available and beautiful, and yet,
as she irradiates the storyline
of evening with her smile,
and lets her hand rest lightly
on some shoulder for a while,
her backless dress of silken gold’s
as tight as gilt upon
an art collector’s statuette.

Her girls are young,
available, and beautiful and yet,
it’s Anna with her silken style
who dances in the memory
while we cross the floating world
to Anna Jet.

Hot night, the bar that’s open
to the dealings of the street,
the techno music, short time girls,
a DJ who is seemingly determined
to defeat our death in this
sublime apotheosis of the dance.

I think of Wagner talking about Beethoven
and glance at strangers who
are dancing on their naked lives.
Here in the floating world, the dream survives;
drink deep, and dance, and banish sleep
for Anna shines among her girls
like some erotic statuette,
and it’s always short time, you can bet,
golden short time.
And the bass is driving nails
into the past
in Anna Jet.

John Gartland

Farang in theBangkok Night by Chris Coles

Farang in the Bangkok Night by Chris Coles

GRAVITY’S FOOL

When she leaves me,

and I’m ordinary again,

a flickering filament,

a melancholy solo

in a wasted hour;

a speech without conviction

in an empty auditorium,

a cherry blossom bough

that will not flower.

When she leaves,

this falling rocket coughs,

its motor won’t restart.

I’m gravity’s fool again;

just ordinary debris

destined soon to fall apart.

And her absences,

like tree rings,

all her absences

will show,

that day they open

my abandoned heart.

John Gartland

Bangkok Noir Artist, Chris Coles prepares for presentation - Photo by  Aroon Thaewchattura

Bangkok Noir Artist, Chris Coles prepares for presentation – Photo by Aroon Thaewchattura

For more information about the Poetry of John Gartland please visit Poetry Universe by clicking the photograph of John, below:

John Gartland on Sukhumvit Road, Bangkok (Photo by Eric Nelson)

John Gartland on Sukhumvit Road with some of the characters found in the Bangkok night. (Photo by Eric Nelson)

For more information regarding the art of Chris Coles, please visit: http://www.chriscolesgallery.com/ or his excellent blog, BANGKOK NOIR, consistently voted one of the Top Two Blog’s in all of Bangkok by clicking the Chris Coles painting below:

Farang Fashion Designer at Q-Bar by Chris Coles

Farang Fashion Designer at Q-Bar by Chris Coles

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JazzonSuhkumvit

Yesterday, I went to the historic Bangkok Cabaret bar, CheckInn99, which has a colorful history that dates back to the 1960s and had a 1970s flashback – the good kind. In 1979 on a Sunday my best friend left after spending the weekend in San Francisco, where I was living at the time. After he left, on a whim, I went into a comedy club in the Richmond district of San Francisco. On that Sunday there was an improvisational comedy group doing their thing and they were doing it well. I commented to the guy next to me, in the not particularly crowded bar called The Holy City Zoo, “That guy looks like Robin Williams.” The response was, “That’s because it is Robin Williams.” The rest of the evening was spent watching greatness and it wasn’t all Robin; they were all great and improvisational comedy is a tough nut to be great at.

robin-williams-3

There is another art form that requires improvising, talent, teamwork and unselfishness. It’s called Jazz. To listen to jazz was the goal yesterday when I met a friend to check out the Sunday Jazz on Sukhumvit series that has been going on at CheckInn99  for about four months now. I have no good reason for not going earlier. Shame on me but I am very glad I went yesterday.

Whether it is comedy, basketball or music when you are in the presence of greatness it’s evident. It’s obvious. So it was yesterday; among the talented group of jazz performers that rotated in and out, just like a winning basketball team, was leading scorer and trumpet player Steve Cannon, whom played every minute.

SteveCannon

To be in an uncrowded, intimate setting at an historic venue, as I was at the now defunct Holy City Zoo, when I saw Robin Williams is something you never forget. Likewise to find a trumpet player the caliber of Steve Cannon playing on a Sunday afternoon at a place where Bob Hope used to frequent is also a day to remember.

Steve Cannon and a talented group of jazz musicians at CheckInn99

Steve Cannon and a talented group of jazz musicians at CheckInn99

Steve’s musical credits are too numerous to list in this post but a partial list includes: piano playing comedian Steve Allen, The Clarence “Gatemouth” Brown Big Band, Mary Wilson and the Supremes, The Temptations, The Four Tops, The Spinners, Frankie Valle and the Four Seasons, and the Fifth Dimension. He produced  his debut CD, NOWHERE MAN in 1999. His 2006 CD, the award winning release, FULL BLOWN by Steve Cannon and the Blow Hard Big Band was named “2006 Best Album of the Year” by “All About Jazz” Magazine. Steve is also among an elite group of jazz musicians that performed a command performance for His Majesty the King of Thailand. And anyone that lives in Thailand knows full well the high regard King Bhumibol has for jazz. The Jazzy King, as he has been referred to, once played side by side with Benny Goodman.

King and Goodman

I love living in Bangkok, Thailand for many reasons. The diversity and talent of the expat community is just one. After two long stints in Los Angeles, CA and Portland, Oregon Steve Cannon now calls Bangkok his home. Steve can be found performing regularly with his piano playing brother, Randy Cannon at the internationally acclaimed “Living Room” jazz club in the Sheraton Grande Sukhumvit Hotel in Bangkok. I will seek out Steve and his brother’s band soon at that venue.

Steve Cannon at CheckInn99 Sunday Afternoon Jazz Series

Steve Cannon alongside William Wait at CheckInn99 Sunday Afternoon Jazz Series

In the meantime, anyone that appreciates good jazz music and the somewhat limited options that exist in Bangkok should make a visit to the Jazz on Sukhumvit series on Sunday afternoon from 2:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. at CheckInn99. You never know when greatness decides to make an appearance.

CheckInn99Bogie

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